as you fade away

Wow. I'm in love. Big time and it's not as scary as I thought it was going to be. I've been with Mike for almost 5 months now. That's long compared to 3 months of a relationship in high school. I was only with Sal for a month too and I thought I loved him. But now that I look back at that... that wasn't love no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that it was. Nothing compares to the feelings I have with Mike now. THIS is love. I just want to be with him forever. Here's what emailed me the other day:

hey babe... its about 3. i just got back to my room. finished my late program finally! but cut the crap. I love you. I read the IM you sent me at least 14 times... it brought small tears to my eyes. I love you so much. Weird thing is it was raining a while ago... well it still is rite now... but it made me think about you. I dunno why but it did. It was like I started to worry about you. Like what if I needed to be there to protect you from the rain? It was also weird cuz it reminded me of the walks we always went on to watch the stars. Ive never shared the same feelings with anyone before. You just make everything right. You make me happy. But if only... if only you would protect me at night. You save me. You complete me. You are my everything. I love you. Goodnite my love. *muah*

your cutie

He felt like he had to protect me from the rain... how cute is that. I'm seriously thankful that he is in my life. It looks like the weirdest things happen for a reason. We're flying home together for Spring Break. We fly into Burbank on Thursday night at 9. He lives like 5 minutes from the airport and well I live and hour away. My dad and brother are picking me up. I can't wait till I'm back in Southern California. I don't like Central/Northern California. It's not me. My mom told Mike he could come over anytime for dinner and my mom would make something nice. I thought that was really cool of her. So he's gonna come over during those 11 days. We're not just gonna be right across the street from each other, we're gonna be an hour away. Sad times. Haha. You know how I can tell it's love this time... because I don't have that temptation anymore to go out looking for another guy or trying to make another guy want me. I'm perfectly content with what I have now and I wouldn't change anything in the world. I think I have seriously stopped my past cheating ways. I would never cheat on Mike. He makes me happy and he's all I need. This morning my dad called while I was out at breakfast but Diana answered the phone and told him I wasn't here. It was funny cause he called my mom and told him I wasn't in my room and my mom was all "oh.. well she either spent the night at Mike's or she's already out and about...." Haha. My dad got all upset, wondering why would I be at Mikes. My mom just likes making him all nervous, that's the only reason why she said that. Good job mom. Anyways..
Last night was fun. The fog rolled in really fast and then it started sprinkling and then it started pouring. Me, Nancy, and Griselda had planned on going out to dinner to Las Palmas, near the beach where the fog would be even worse.It was Nancy's little goodbye dinner since she left this morning to Indio since she's done with her finals. The bad weather didn't stop us either. We got on the bus and it dropped us right in front of the resturaunt. We ate in like 10 minutes. We were such pigs. Haha. Then we walked towards the Metro and caught another bus back to campus. It was a fun time with the girls again. I already miss Nancy.
Well I must get back to studying for my bioethics final. Augh. I'm studying today and tomorrow for bioethics and then Monday and Tuesday for my Pacific Is. Body Art final. What a mess. Wish me luck.

hahaha


You are every secretary's nightmare


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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Tomboy


What's your sexual appeal?
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hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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Pink:
You see the world in bright pink. The world is a
happy, happy place! You love all people and
things!! Life is great! You're just like a
happy child. Spread the cheer.


What color do you see the world in?
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Okay so there's a possibility that I'm moving out next quarter. I'm going to be moving across campus to college 9/10. I feel much more comfortable there and I'll be closer to the science two buildings where I'll be spending much of my time anyways since I'm a psychology major. I went to the housing office today and asked the girl if it would jeporadize my guaranteed housing since I'm an EOP (Eductional Opputurnity Program) student. She said she would have to check on the computer because some EOP students don't receive guaranteed housing. So she checked and was all "wow" which made me say "what??" and she was all " you guaranteed on campus housing till the year 2006. So that is like super awesome. So I asked her if I could move fall of next year and she said that it woud be better for me to move next quarter and it is usually done that way. She asked if I would be okay with moving next quarter and I immediately said yes not thinking of Diana. Then when Diana came back I told her and she got really sad. She just looked at me and said "nicole.. you can't go.. no.. nicole stay..." and I think she was crying. She layed on her bed with her face towards the wall and she didn't say ANYTHING to me and then she got up like 10 minutes later and said "I'll be back". She still hasn't been back and it's been like 3 hours. I feel really bad because she is the best roomate ever and shes such an awesome friend. I think of her as my sister. We share so much in common and I wouldn't want our friendship to end just cause I'm moving out. I took a walk tonight. I packed my backpack with a flashlight, a nutri-grain bar (since I didn't eat dinner), a water bottle, and my psyc index cards (in case I felt like studying), and put my cd player on. I walked through college eight and the kept walking all the way through to Oakes. I was going to go sit at their field because it's the best place to look at the stars, but it didn't feel right being there alone. Kinda scary. So I walked up these stairs and sat on this bench and just sat there listening to my music... contemplating things.... eating my nutri-grain bar... watching people pass by. Then I got tired of that and thought I would walk back to my place and study. Then I came to college eight and saw that the back door was open to Aprils building so I thought I would go say hi. As I was walking to the door and gettng ready to knock April and Alissa walk to the door at the same time. It was funny. We were like "whoa! that's weird!" So then we went in their room and I told April how I was going to move. Now you would think a friend, presumably a good friend, would be supportive if you had choose to live somewhere else if you felt uncomfortable in your current living situation. No.. not April. I guess I misunderstood the supportiveness of a true friendship. She was all "why are you going there? Is it because NANCY and WINTILA are there? I bet it is" No April.. it's not because they are there. In fact, I hardly hang out with Wintila. Maybe if April had been listening to me speak she would have heard that I was moving there because I feel more comfortable there and because I will be spending most of my academic life in the social science two buildings. Even IF I decided to move to college 9/10 because of Nancy or Wintila she shouldn't have cared and she sure in hell shouldn't have said those words in that tone. She lives with her best friend from high school who she seems to not be able to live without. She can't be without her even for a day. She has every class with her. So who is she to talk to me in that tone if I wanted to move to be closer to my friends????? You know I don't need someone to pretend to be my good friend. Either you are or you're not. There's no in betweens. She even had the guts to tell me "well Nicole it's been nice being friends and I hope you have a nice life..." *laugh* "because I probably won't be seeing you much" HA! She's never even seen me much anyways and I live right across the street!! Deep down inside I laugh at people like that and think "god it must SUCK being you." Well I'm talking to Nancy on the phone right now. So I'll end this entry at that.